i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
