then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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