don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
