My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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