Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
