Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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