Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
