I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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