Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we're making bets on your personal life
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
