So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Randomize
