Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Brb crying the tears of my youth
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
