just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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