hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
