doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
