butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
