thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
