yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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