No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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