She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize