Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
