I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
