tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
