very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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