So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize