Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
