You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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