he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
