It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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