Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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