im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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