we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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