thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
