Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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