Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
