Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
