I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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