if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
