i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize