i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize