singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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