I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
