STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
