I hate your face
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
