she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
