You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize