his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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