Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
