it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
