I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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