office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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