i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
