just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize