Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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