I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
