Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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