The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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