i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
