I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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