Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
