All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think i have herpe
just one?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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