His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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