he puts the penis in happiness.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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