I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
