Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
