i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
