just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize