Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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