Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
