We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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