was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
